In A Tights Spot

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Image courtesy of MarieClarie.co.uk

 

After about 11 years of regularly purchasing tights, I've finally uncovered the secrets and rules of hosiery.  It was not easy, as the packaging has a variety of wonky sizing charts, spreadsheets, and letter/number combos.  Plus, there are footless tights, leggings, tights with the foot, and fishnets (which I consider a sub-category of tights).  We also have knee highs and thigh highs.  

It's very overwhelming, but I am here to make it less so. 

Before we begin - a quick quiz.      
 
Is it ok to wear nylons?
       A. no

                                                          
The correct answer would be A. no.                
 Exceptions are rare, but will be made for
 nuns and women over 70.

Image courtesy of Cooking for Miss Finicky

1.  Tights are not pants.  This rule has been overlooked with the re-emerging popularity of the legging.  Tights must be worn under something.  I do not care if it is a skirt, dress, shorts, capris, or a muumuu.  SOMETHING.

2.   Leggings are only quasi-pants, and thus, whatever you are wearing for a top should fall below your bum.  If your outfit allows visible cameo-toe, your shirt is too short.

 

 

3.  If you are unsure if you are dealing with tights or leggings, always err on the side of tights.  You will encounter fewer faux-pas.

 

 

4.  You may wear fishnets.

 

 5. Wear fishnets over opaque tights for a fun effect.  This may cause more butt sweat than just one pair of tights.  Remedy this by powdering your bum and no-no parts with a safe and cruelty-free powder.

 

 

6.  Here is the KEY to getting the best-fit - buy a size bigger than you normally would.  I am a S/M so I buy a M/L.  This makes for thicker tights, more vibrant color (because they aren't being stretched as much), and they are way less likely to give you that "I just had a botched C-section" line from your navel to your crotch.  I use this method for leggings, footless tights, regular tights, AND fishnets.

 

7.  This KEY does not work with knee or thigh highs.  You want those babies tight or you have the whole slippage issue.  Knee-highs are a knee-high version of tights.  Knee socks are a knee-high version of socks.  Thigh-highs follow this pattern too. 

7a. Knee -highs may be worm under pants or long skirts or while roller-skating in the 70's.

7b.  Thigh highs may be worn for seduction.

Here, Chrissy Snow combines portions of rules 7a and 7b.

 

8.  This is one accessory which follows the YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR cliché.  So, when you can...

 

 

Black Milk Leggings