Surely your appointment will be at an inconvenient time and throw off your whole day. Plus you'll have a doctor up in your no-no parts. That's all pretty stupid. I've put together some simple dos and don'ts to make you and your time a little less lame. 
Don't - Look directly at people while you try and judge if they have an STD.
Do - Wear loose fitting clothing that is easy to remove. You know once the nurse leaves the tiny exam room you have 2.2 seconds to get undressed, inconspicuously hide your undies in or under your pants on the chair in the corner, get in the "gown" (opening in the front), hop up on the table and throw the paper sheet over your lap before the doctor knocks/barges in.
Don't - Hesitate when asked how many sexual partners you've had. This will provoke the doctor to make a note in your file, look at you out of the corner of her eye, and say -
"ballpark figure is fine."
"ballpark figure is fine."
Do - Say 3. (Your first time, a fling, your current partner.) Don't say you're a virgin. That is an assumed lie. Only say 3. That is the only correct answer.
Don't - Giggle at any of the following words:
Speculum
Lube
Latex
Vulva
Breast
Nipple
Pap-smear (which, I discovered at age 12 - to my chagrin -
is not pronounced pap-schmear)
is not pronounced pap-schmear)
Do - Scoot your bum all the way to the end of the table. Also, just relax and let your legs fall completely apart. You may want to do some preliminary stretching at home.
Don't - Make jokes. The following are jokes -
"Findin' anything good up there?" and "This is the most action I've seen in a while!"
Do - Gratefully accept the tiny square of rough Kleenex the doctor will hand you for "clean up". It will definitely be all you'll need for that.
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