Flavors of Ben & Jerry's That Were Born Because Someone Was Totally High

Disclaimer: I own a small freezer that locks and has one purpose - Ben & Jerry's ice cream pint storage.  This is the way it has to be to ensure my favorite flavors are available when I need them.  I have two keys - one I keep on my person at all times, and one is hidden in the house.  The freezer is in the living room and acts as an end table, as its top holds a lamp, a box of tissues, and some coasters.
So, you may want to pay attention here, because I clearly take this very seriously and know what I am talking about. 

With the release of Ben & Jerry's newest flavor, "The Tonight Dough", we will no longer question if Ben & Jerry smoked up doobies while coming up with some of their pun-ny pints.  Because we know they did.  Only high people put that many different foods in one container and name it something ridiculous.  Not only does The Tonight Dough have both caramel and chocolate ice cream, it has swirls of chocolate cookie and "gobs" of chocolate chip cookie dough AND peanut butter cookie dough.  I'm not saying I won't be trying this flavor, because I will be.  I'm saying this is probably most enjoyable after...you know...

In Spring 2011, Jimmy Fallon was featured on the container of "Late Night Snack" which was retired in 2014.  It was Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with a Salty Caramel Swirl & Fudge Covered Potato Chip Clusters.  A mix of salty and sweet is my personal fave, so I was sad to see this one go.  But again, chips IN the ice cream.  Sounds like a 420 snack to me.

Ben & Jerry's flavor collection continues to evolve, change, and grow.  I have classic favorites like "Cherry Garcia" and "Mint Chocolate Cookie", but people have been putting cherries, chocolate, and cookies in ice cream for years.  Those are more relaxed, obvious flavors you can tell your grandma about.  The following is my list of flavors that, I believe, would not exist if someone (I've got my eyes on you, Ben and Jerry) didn't toke one up once in a while.  So, pass the dutchie to the left hand side and read on.

"That's My Jam" Core, and any of the "Cores" really.

Because swirls and chunks are not enough, PUT THE FANCY PART ALL THE WAY THROUGH! Jam in each bite!  Caramel in each bite!  Chocolate cookie IN EACH FRICKIN' BITE!  Picture it...

Woah......

This flavor, exclusive to Target, contains peanut butter ice cream with both peanut butter and raspberry jam swirls.  Dude...'magine like, if we had peanut butter and jelly sandwich but it was like, ice cream?

"Half Baked" and "Peanut Butter Half Baked"  dude, it's in the name.  How it was thought up, how it should be consumed.

"Candy Bar Pie" makes the list because it includes a PRETZEL SWIRL.  Um, huh?  This is one of my favorite flavors.  However, I am pretty sure pretzels do not swirl and I have no idea how they make them do that.  Only while high would you swirl a pretzel.

If you need an ice cream that has so much stuff in it the list is four lines long and you can't even name it according to any of the ingredients - you're high.

If you are still listening to Phish, you're high.  If you ever listened to Phish, you were high.  This flavor is dated, but it has little chocolate fish in it.  Win.

AND BREAKING NEWS! Literally as I typed that last sentence I just got notification that B&J are soon down with weed infused ice cream once it is legal.  (Shocking!)

WEED ICE CREAM 

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better - they are just gonna add the weed right into the pint.

Images: Forbes.com, giphy.com, yahoo.com, brandeating.com, target.com, benandjerrys.com