These Must Be Stories About Abs - or - Book Covers That Objectify Men

Women are objectified all over the place - this isn't news.  Men aren't objectified all over, but they ARE objectified on the following book covers, and this might be news to those of you not perusing the romance section of your library or local book store.  For the sake of clear cover-judging, I did not read the back of any of these, and didn't look at reviews when I snagged the pics.  The stories may have complex plots with multi-dimensional characters .*  Today, that isn't our focus.  We're talking abs and pecks.

 Let's get started!

This is a book about a cougar, clearly.  I imagine the female protagonist flees to a beach house and is surprised to find a renewed sense of sexuality as she romps with the twenty-something in the house next door.  Their bedroom windows face each other. Coincidence.
See Also: Pecks, Board Shorts, Menopause

 Again with the board shorts.  Perhaps the main character is a virgin.  Playfulness with a beach hunk leads to romance, which leads to doin' it.  I imagine the sexiness in this books is more of a playful innocent nature. Her hand is uncomfortably close to his armpit hair.  

See Also: Board Shorts, Armpit Hair, White Beachwear. 

Is he sad because his jeans are too tight to fully zip and button?  Has consuming dairy left him feeling bloated? I am sure those veins in his arm were photo-shopped.  Or maybe he has phlebitis.  Regardless, he is upset and needs the touch of a woman to regain sight of his passion in life.

See Also: Abercrombie, Acid Wash, Alex  

Someone fix the broken soldier!  This may actually be a workout video cover (VHS) moonlighting as a book cover.  Although the abs/dog-tag combo is front and center, I am wondering if this guy is wearing white pants.  Do this many guys really wear white pants?

See Also: Not After Labor Day, Pecks, Abs  

I am  fairly certain there is a direct correlation between ab definition and how intense the sex scenes will be.  This tribal tattoo, in close vicinity to both abs and a weapon lets a reader know this is going to be one heck of a ride.  Probably a good girl who falls for a guy from the wrong side of the tracks.  He is both greasy and dirty - that's how we know he's tough.

 See Also: Pen Name, Needs a Shower, Jeans Fit

Ok, this was listed as "erotica", so we really don't have to discuss.

See Also:  They See Me Rollin'...Hating', Drawstring Sweatpants, Photoshop

  

 This is my favorite.  We have abs, pecks, and again, no real view of the face.  At least his head isn't cut off completely.  (Did you notice that?  No Heads. Go ahead, scroll back up.  I'll wait.)  This must be fantasy romance.  I Googled "what is a hatter".  It is "a person who makes hats". So, although that doesn't top my list of "sexiest careers for men", I do find this appealing, because I think most of the story takes place on moist earth.  Plus, I like suspenders.

See Also: Suspenders, Moss-Covered Earth, Hatter

I'm not sure if this is two gay men or a plot line with a woman who must choose between two sets of abs and pecks.  The title doesn't tell us much.  Maybe she is choosing between the brooding business man, and the younger, sweeter, naive hoodie-wearer.  Oddly this background was one of the options for my 7th grade school picture.  

See Also: Dirty, Hoodie, Pecks

 Not only is there a six-pack on the cover, but "6 Pack" is in the title!  I'd like to survey 100 women and see how many choose the cowboy as sexiest option.  I'm not sure what the other options would be.  Boy Next Door, Lumberjack, Soldier?

See Also: Boy Next Door, Lumberjack, Soldier

*But probably not.