Date-able, Yet Two-Dimensional

Lately I've been watching a LOT of shows via Netflix and have come to a (super earth shattering) realization. Ya just don't find a lot of hot meat on Family Guy or Beavis and Butthead.  However, there are a few eligible (although two-dimensional) men who I would have totally dated in my twenties.  I say "in my twenties" because now, at the mature age of 32 (at which I am still marathon-watching cartoons) I need slightly more than what these guys have to offer.  Plus, I'm married.  Regardless...

Toki Wartooth from Metalocalypse

Toki plays guitar for the band Dethclok.  I love a man in a band.  Toki is of Scandinavian decent, and thus has ice blue eyes that pierce right through ya - whether he's wearing eyeliner or not.  He is most sensitive, naive and whimsical.  When his beloved cat passed away, he made a music video - literally full of rainbows and unicorns - and dedicated it to the little guy.  He does arts & crafts in his spare time, and is pretty domestic.  He cooks and does his laundry for the guys in the band, so you've gotta think he'd do the same for me. He has a sweet accent and his confusion over certain English words and terms is pretty endearing.  He IS sort of short, but he works out and has a great head of hair that I imagine he would let me braid.  He once wore a sweater vest, and has a teddy bear from when he was little.  I bet he'd be really good at snuggling.

Jairo from Bob's Burgers

Jairo in an expert in Capoeira, or, "sexy dance fighting".  He teaches kids, which is really sweet, and I like a man who doesn't feel uncomfortable around children.  I'm guessing he's mid twenties.  Actually, he could be older, and just look ageless because of his inner strength and calm - you know, like Sting.  We don't know too much about Jairo, as he only appears in one episode.  Despite this, I know that together we would practice Buddhism, eat mostly raw foods, and have tantric sex.  He'll always smell a little garlicky...but that's ok.        

Trent Lane from Daria

Trent is laid back, tattooed, pierced, and is lead guitar/vocals for his band Mystik Spiral.  He has an authentic  90's grunge look and just-out-of-bed hair. He's college-age-ish so he'd be fun for a fling or friend with benefits.  There is something romantic about a guy who would totally write a break up song about me.  His van is pretty grubby, but I bet he'd lay down a blanket in the back so we would be more comfortable making out after one of his shows.  His family is pretty cool too - all unique and artsy. 

I'm sure they've always got hummus on hand, which is a bonus.